


The Wedding Bells Aren't For Me

by whitetigerlittledeer



Category: NU'EST, Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Comedy, F/M, Het!EndGameforMin, I'm Sorry, M/M, it hurts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-04
Updated: 2018-04-04
Packaged: 2019-04-18 06:57:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14207604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whitetigerlittledeer/pseuds/whitetigerlittledeer
Summary: Akane has been An Angel by regularly blessing the tag so I decided to return the favour since she asked for an angst fic so the blame is on her and also partly triggered bythis.I wrote this listening toReply1988's ost playlist.





	The Wedding Bells Aren't For Me

**Author's Note:**

  * For [chezzu (akanemnida)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/akanemnida/gifts).



> Akane has been An Angel by regularly blessing the tag so I decided to return the favour since she asked for an angst fic so the blame is on her and also partly triggered by [this](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14196777).
> 
> I wrote this listening to [Reply1988's ost playlist](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8oyYGcHcDeA&list=PLcOf-jV0-p1gkrWzZwEa5hvlTaregBNne).

Baekho always wanted a simple wedding like this, a wide open space with white tapestries, white flowers, big round tables for close friends and families, covered with white table cloths of course, and a white stage, right at the front, where he would say his wedding vows with the love of his life.

 

But this is not his wedding, and he is not marrying the love of his life.

 

Baekho sits there awkwardly, at a table with the rest of his members. All of them were sadly unaware of Baekho’s awkwardness, as Aron was busy entertaining his 2 year old son, Minki was talking animatedly with his boyfriend of two years, and Jonghyun, that asshole, was late. Just when Baekho was seriously wondering if running out of his ex-boyfriend’s wedding is considered accepted etiquette, he felt a tap on his shoulder.

 

“Sorry for being late!” Baekho sighs _Thank God._ Jonghyun slid into the seat next to Baekho, offering the slightly pissed man an apologetic smile. “How could you be late!” Baekho hissed “I almost died trying to talk to Aron! His son is overly possessive.” Sure enough, Aron was bowing apologetically to a waiter because Hanwoo slapped the waiters hand, thinking he was trying to get close with his daddy. Apparently Aron made the mistake of telling him “If you don’t stay close to Daddy during the wedding someone else might take me away!” Which is a load of bull because no one would dare to mess with Sujin. “Hey hey hey you could always talk to Ren” Baekho sighed, put both his palms on either side of Jonghyun’s face, and forcefully directed his vision towards Minki seated opposite from them, who was currently busy sucking face with his boyfriend. Jonghyun winced. “Oh. Well I'm here now mate, you're fine now” _Lol as if._ Baekho was honestly prepared to bolt from the location, knees bouncing up and down erratically, until Jonghyun placed a hand over his knee, calming him down. “Relax a little Baekho, I'm glad you came” Jonghyun smiled appreciatively.

 

To be honest, when that gold envelope appeared in his mailbox a month ago, Baekho wanted nothing more than to shred it, burn it, and scatter it's ashes into the Han River. The envelope contained nothing but pain, and he was really going to carry out the disposal task until Jonghyun came banging on his door, demanding him to accompany him to the wedding because he’s not going to go there alone. After threatening to dye baekho’s hair in his sleep (“I have keys to your place! Orange looked pretty good on you”) and a promise of 4 rounds of grilled meat on Jonghyun, Baekho reluctantly squeaked out a “yes” and that was enough for Jonghyun to let him go from a (weak) chokehold and plop himself on the couch, reading his manga on his phone again. _Jonghyun never changes_. Baekho stared at the gold envelope on the dining table, the gold standing out on top of the black surface, and slowly moved his hands to open the letter.

 

_“You are formally invited to Hwang Minhyun’s and Kang Hana’s wedding”_

 

Baekho’s heart dropped. He knew for a while now that Minhyun was getting married. Aron mentioned it during a phone call, Bumzu told him during one of their studio sessions, and Daehwi even sent him a text about it. Baekho knew, but it didn't mean that it hurt less. “Hey Baekho?” Jonghyun called from the couch. “Yeah?” Baekho glanced at his friend “You'll be fine Baekho-ya” Jonghyun said without looking up from his manga. _I sure hope so_ Baekho thinks, scrunching up that ugly piece of paper anyway, throwing it to the trash, causing Jonghyun to curse, leaping up to retrieve it before he forgets. “I’ll tell him you’ll go!” he shouts before Baekho closes the door to his room to cry. His poor poor heart.

 

So that's how he’s here at this wedding, the very wedding that Baekho has been trying to avoid thinking about for months. While Baekho was trying to form an escape plan blueprint inside his thumb-like head, someone behind him said “Oh! Baekho-yah you came!.....It’s been so long” and Baekho was hauled up by springly arms into a hug. _Minhyun._

 

Baekho’s whole body tensed up, hands freezing into stone as Minhyun invaded his senses. To a passerby it might look like Baekho hated hugs, or hated the person so much he’d much prefer to have some distance between them. _No._ Baekho winced. _I want you close._ He slowly relaxed his hands and gave a light hug back. _Too close._ Baekho pulled back, and the cause of his years of pain was grinning back at him. _It’s blinding_ , Baekho thinks. He’s still so beautiful. “Glad you're here.” Baekho wanted to hold him back, wanted to tell him....tell him what exactly? But Minhyun went to the other guests without missing a beat, leaving a lost Baekho to slowly let himself back into his seat, with Jonghyun rubbing comforting circles onto his back.

 

Baekho tried not to think about how their bodies still fit together perfectly, tried to forget how Minhyun once hugged him like that, after his confession many years ago. Tried to push his feelings, this longing to the back of his head. It’s been so long. After breaking up with Minhyun, Baekho avoided Minhyun like the plague. Because everything hurt back then, _everything._ And he isn’t sure if he’s done hurting yet. Baekho was given little time to collect his emotions, because Minhyun was walking up to the stage, and the lights were dimmed. It was time for the entrance of the bride.

 

Hana was beautiful. Baekho could see Daehwi covering his mouth in shock at the table across from theirs, holding on to Jinyoung. As their stylist during Wanna One’s promotion period, she was close to them too, and they absolutely adored her. Baekho couldn’t find a reason to hate her, no matter how hard he tried. She made Minhyun happy, _something Baekho no longer could do._

 

As the beautiful bride laid her first step onto the red carpet, it all came back to Baekho, how everything he hoped for came crashing down.

 

Step.

 

_“Minhyun-ah let's go cycling!”_

_“I'm sorry Baek-ah, I have something going on tonight”_

_“With who?”_

_“Just someone okay? Stop being nosy”_

 

Step.

 

_“Minhyun why are you always on the phone? Are you Jonghyun?” Baekho joked._

_Minhyun didn't reply, he was grinning at his screen, fingers hovering over the keyboard to type a reply_

_Baekho leaned over “Who are you talking too?”_

_Minhyun stepped away from the couch, holding his phone protectively to his chest._

_“Just a random person! Why are you so nosy?”_

_“Have you forgotten that I'm your boyfriend? I have a right to find out who’s making you smile like that” When you're only supposed to smile like that to me_

_“Well Baekho.” Minhyun paused_

_“As your boyfriend i have a right to privacy too, and it's your fault I'm smiling at something else now”_

_The door to their room slammed shut._

_I guess I'm sleeping on the couch._

 

Step.

 

_Fan-service really became something done only for the fans, every touch shared between them onstage felt forced, and Baekho never really wanted to bring it up, because he never wanted to become the needy boyfriend. But that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt when Minhyun flinched everytime they make contact._

 

Step.

 

_Their sex was different too. It used to feel like fire, like they could burn down the whole house with their lust, but everything is now cold. It wasn't until both of them were done, with unsatisfactory orgasms, that Baekho realised they never kissed during the love making. Not once._

 

Step.

 

_“Minhyun-ah I love you”_

 

_“Hmm.”_

 

_“Do you love me”_

 

_“Of course”_

 

_Then why won't you look at me?_

 

Step. The bride was already at the end of the carpet. She reached out her hands to Minhyun.

 

“Let’s break up Baekho-yah”

 

Baekho’s last hope was shattered to pieces.

 

“Ok.”

 

“Ok..?”

 

“You've found someone else haven’t you?”

 

“Baek- I’m sorry”

 

Baekho turned away from him, forcing his voice to stay steady as tears started flowing down his cheeks

 

“It’s okay, we were never really going to make it anyway right? You were never really serious”

 

“No I-”

 

“It's okay Minhyun, I'm happy for you” _It hurts._

 

“..........”

 

“You’re still my best friend…..dumbass” _Don’t go._

 

“.....Thanks Baek...Thank you.”

 

You have always been cruel Min-ah.

 

_But I’ve always been crueler to myself._

 

So as the bride and the groom faced each other, eyes full of love and excitement, Baekho forced himself to look away. “Do you, Kang Hana, take Hwang Minhyun as your lawfully wedded husband?” Baekho squeezed his eyes shut. “I do”

 

“And do you, Hwang Minhyun, take Kang Hana as your lawfully wedded wife?” Baekho opened his eyes and stared at Minhyun. He wished that he could say he saw hesitance in his eyes, or Minhyun suddenly turned to him and made eye contact, but none of that happened. Minhyun simply stared at his bride with _feelings not meant for Baekho, not anymore_ and said “I do”.

 

 _“I do”_. Baekho mouthed the words, wishing he had the chance to say it to him too. In the next life perhaps, but in this life, Baekho gets to watch Minhyun say his vows to someone else.

 

“You may now kiss the bride” It was until the guests were all focused on the two lovebirds kissing, that Baekho let the tears flow.

 

 _Bike rides near the Han River at night, two young boys cuddling in the grass, whispering sweet nothings into each other’s ear, stolen kisses between performances backstage, long talks in Baekho’s car, Baekho listening to Minhyun crying through the phone when it gets hard, Minhyun spooning him on the bed every night._ All of them were such pretty memories, and Baekho thinks he needs to let go now. _Because there's no use holding onto the past when you're the only one stuck there._

 

As the bride and the groom were embracing each other, basking in the post-vow joy, Baekho discreetly wiped his tears. “They look beautiful huh?” Jonghyun asked while stuffing a tissue into Baekho’s hands. Baekho stared at the groom who had his face scrunched up in concentration as he tried to carry the bride, thinking.

 

“Yeah, so beautiful.”

 

Thank you Hwang Minhyun, for teaching me how to love, how this wonderful feeling feels like,

 

And how to keep on loving, even though it hurts.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! yell at me [here](https://twitter.com/baekhoebae)


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